Mentorship, It Can be a Game Changer

How do you find a mentor? 

Do you remember any individuals you’ve met in your life who

• you came across at your university, high school, job, or at a major event that you looked up to?
• you were in awe of how they carried themselves and you wanted to be just like them?
• was hard on you and always held you accountable?
• was a random person you met for the first time and you just hit it off?

I know I have met a few of these over the years, and I’m sure you have too. Those individuals you looked up to were likely a mentor or someone who became a mentor for you, whether you realized it or not.

Does a mentor find you or do you pick who your mentor is?  Honestly, yes to both of those questions. But, in all reality, most times you don’t even know someone is your mentor, as it just happens.

I have had quite a few people refer to me as their mentor and I thought to myself, “Really? Am I?” But then I considered – I have been there for that person, I have held them accountable, and I pushed them to great heights – and I realized I was their mentor.  You see, sometimes becoming a mentor happens so naturally for some people, it becomes second nature.  I believe that is what sets some mentors apart from others. True mentors are helping without knowing it and doing it for the right reasons. The mentor/mentee relationship should just be a natural transition.

Now, can a conversation happen to discuss being someone’s mentor or mentee? Absolutely!  There is nothing wrong in asking someone to be your mentor or someone to be your mentee.  Communication is key in a mentor relationship, so make sure to set those expectations to make the most out of your mentor relationship.  

Importance of a mentee

I watched an interview on YouTube with Simon Sinek, a well renowned author and speaker about leadership and mentorship.  During his interview, he discussed the importance of mentorship and how much his mentor meant to him.  Simon then said something that really caught my attention: He mentioned how his mentor thanked him on several different occasions for being his mentor.  Simon shared how surprised he was to hear that, since if you’re a mentee, how can you also be a mentor to your mentor?  Confusing right? I am confused just writing about it.  As I continued to reflect on this, I started to realize how important a mentee is to their mentor.  A mentee allows their mentor to grow as an individual, to learn more about themselves, to enhance their leadership traits, and the opportunity to share knowledge that was shared with them.

So as a mentee, understand your importance in your mentor relationship because without mentees, there will be no mentors.  Take pride in your role and learn as much as you can, so when it becomes your time to be a mentor, you’ll have those traits to influence an individual in the same way you were.

Mentor relationships may have a time limit

A topic that is not discussed enough is that sometimes mentor relationships have their limits.

Over the course of my life, I have come to realize that this can be the case. There are so many students and colleagues who I believe I have inspired, supported, challenged and pushed great heights, and most of them even called me their mentor. But over time, we have not stayed connected or engaged.

People are meant to be a part of your life for a certain time.  So, if a mentor is only your mentor for a certain part of your life, it is okay. That goes the same for mentees, if a mentee is only your mentee for a certain part of your life, that is okay too. Certain mentor relationships have a time limit, but there will be others that will last a lifetime.

It is to okay take stock of circumstances and your mentor relationship, process everything, and decide how you want to take it in and move forward. So, whether a mentor relationship has an expiration date approaching, or it gets stronger over time, treasure those mentor relationships and learn as much as you can from those times and moments.